When I do a Ruby event, one thing I try to get across to everyone is the importance of loving yourself first. Taking care of you first is foundational. Putting on your own oxygen mask first is key. People, especially women, find this hard to do. We ladies are more nurturing, which is a beautiful way to be, but if we do not take care of ourselves first, we will eventually become resentful and burnt out.
A lot of people feel it's selfish to put themselves first, but this is a lie. It's not being selfish! It is a way of survival for our soul, mind and body. We must be rested and rejuvenated to love and care for others well.
Falling in love is not only for “romantic" love ... I've fallen in love in many ways.I have been in love with a man, I am totally head over heels in love with my mom, and I’ve fallen in love with my family and friends, my fur babies, music, art, places I've visited, movies, restaurants and the list goes on and on.
Unfortunately, often times our own self-love has been based on how someone else has loved or treated us in the past: parents, siblings, grandparents, teachers, high school and college friends, enemies or a romantic love. We base our self-worth on what someone said or didn't say. That could easily lead to self-hatred. This thought processing has to stop.
Today is a new day for you!!! Today, we let go of all the negativity our souls have been entwined to from our past and start our life over. Today, I want you to live the life you deserve and desire to live! It's time to start focusing, and being grateful and thankful for what we have. No more guilt!
God told us to "Love your neighbor as you LOVE YOURSELF"— Psychologists tell us to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first; to love ourselves, to be grateful and thankful every day. This way of thinking and acting will change our lives.
How do we fall in love with ourselves? I believe by finding out who we are, what we like, what makes us happy!
Loving yourself is not about the shell your soul lives in. Your soul is who you are; the shell is a place it resides in. When you discover who YOU are (hint...your body, or shell, doesn't define you!), your love will allow your soul to shine through all the things you thought were bad, ugly, or shameful. The scars that you were embarrassed by will start to heal.
It’s time to shine bright my friends! You will find through your self-discovery, that what you believed were flaws are actually building stones to create you a strong foundation.
You must search within and find yourself, your needs, wants and desires. Do not wait for anyone else to fill them. I believe each one of us was born in this time, in this generation, for a reason — a God given purpose. Whatever burns inside you and will not let you go, is your passion, live it!
5 things I just taught at my Ruby Retreat:
"Where there is no vision the people will perish"— Helen Keller
The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision. We must have a vision. A vision helps us map out where we want to be in the next two to four years. A vision is a bridge to our destiny.
"As a man thinks so he is" Every morning we wake up, instead of focusing on the negative, we must be thankful. We all can name three things we are grateful for. I challenge you to get a jar and make it your own special jar, decorate it in your style. Put it next to your bed, and every morning for the next 90 days, put three new things you are thankful for daily.Watch your jars overflow as your life changes.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Stop thinking that God, the Universe, and people are out to get you. It's not true. When we have too much time on our hands, we begin to create situations and ideas in our minds that are not true. We have to guard our minds. Our mind can be our best friend or our worst enemy.
"Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe" Make yourself a vision board. Place your wishes and dreams on your board. Start seeing and believing in God (and you!) and watch it happen.
"Renew and Retrain your mind daily"Get a post-it note and write down one affirmation a day about you. Stick it on your bathroom mirror or refrigerator-somewhere you will easily see them and repeat them to yourself daily.
Fall in love with yourself even more:
• Get a journal and date it.
• Music - listen to all kinds of music and find what you love.
• Movies- watch all kinds of movies and see what lights up your soul.
• Be adventurous — Explore and find your passion.
• Take some classes (find out if you love art, cooking, pottery, etc.).
• Go see a play, opera, a concert, a game, etc.
• Exercise — Find what kind of exercise you love; dancing, yoga, Pilates, boxing, kickboxing, bike riding.
• Go spend some time alone and fall in love with you.
You have the information ... what will you do with it? If you want your life to change, you must use your tools and do the work. Remember the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.
You are beautiful and worth living this life that has been given to you. How do you know you still have a purpose? Because, you are still alive. Do not waste anymore of this beautiful life God has given you. It's your turn to be happy!
Go fall in love with yourself! I've heard so many say, ‘what if I mess up’? Well, to them I say, "what if this is the best thing you ever did for yourself? What if this is what you've been waiting for? What if this gives you the wings to fly to your destiny? What if this is the happiest you ever been?”
Once you practice self-love, and step out of your comfort zone, you will find out how strong you really are, and how many beautiful colors your canvas has.
Don't be afraid!!
This is your life ... go live!!!
RUBY for The Sweet Life By Brittany + Cynthia Daniel
You can learn more about Ruby on her website. Or, follow Ruby on Facebook and Instagram.